My Tribe
Everyone has their own quirks and special preferences that make them unique. Mine happen to take on a hippie and bohemian quality. They smell of rose water and feel like sand beneath the toes on a Tuesday evening.
I wasn’t always so comfortable with that fact about myself.
In college, and for 7 years after, I straddled two very different worlds. One in which I wore heels and a pencil skirt in an office with coffee breaks and working lunches; in the other, barefoot in a yoga studio to learn and teach the importance of essential oils and gong baths.
My boyfriends along the way had similar qualities, ranging from an international business student (2 years) to a full-time member of an indie rock band (7 years).
It was not until I moved to Costa Rica to live and work at a yoga studio full time that I realized I could create my own experience – by embracing my bohemian and business sides together. I am the kind that casually speaks about the zodiac in relation to someone’s personality, the chakras affecting mood, and the full moon in relation to business planning.
I came out of the bohemian closet, and now embrace that unique quality about myself.
I used to try to hide my full moon altars from my boyfriends (the international business student), but it turns out they were all very aware (a casual, “are you hiding your full moon alter behind the window curtains again?” confirmed it).
I was the only one to think I hid that part of myself from ‘normal’ people. So really, I only came out of that incense and candlelit closet to myself. Still a very necessary and essential thing to do in order to be comfortable in one’s own skin.
How did I finally get comfortable in my hippie skin?
It turns out there are other people in the world like me. Who knew? My tribe consists of people that skinny dip in the ocean with me on the full moon (their suggestion!), listen intently about the differences between the sun sign and rising sign in horoscopes, and then immediately look up their sun and rising signs!
These are my people. Free spirits. Naturally curious. Open to the world around them. Adventurers. Brave artists. Quick to love, hug and give a kiss on the cheek.
These people walk barefoot with me in the office (it is a yoga retreat center after all), ask to join me when I say I’m taking my Reiki 1 Initiation on the spring equinox, and question me how my sacral chakra is doing when I mention I haven’t seen a cute guy in months.
They are colorful, brilliant, exciting, and radiate love. I never feel judged in front of them (even when I realized I forgot how old I was for an entire month. I’m 29, not 28. Yikes.).
My tribe made me realize these qualities were beautiful and unique, because if they are beautiful and unique, I guess I mirror that back to them.
I’ve also never been more happy in my entire life. I have less possessions with me on a daily basis (what I can fit into two small suitcases), less money (working on that one), and am further way from the vision I had for my future (a husband and kids).
Happiness is possible at all times, no matter the circumstances in life. It’s all a state of mind, an outlook, where the focus lies.
I choose to focus on the sunrise, the beautiful faces around me in my tribe, the signs the universe gives me daily, and focus on my own inner happiness and self worth each passing minute.
Part of the reason I came to Costa Rica was to practice self-love, a positive mindset and the ability to be on my own. I accomplished all of those things and so much more.
I am truly happy, and now know I can take that happiness with me wherever I land.
I’ve been practicing that for more than a year now, but everything accumulated tougher once I gave myself the time to reflect (meditation, journaling and solo walks) and in discussions with others in similar nomadic/wanderlust states of being.
Is there somewhere in your own life you could be more authentic? Even if it’s something that you only express to yourself? I’d love to know your thoughts in the comments below, or to connect on Instagram.
With light and love,
Azahar
May 15, 2015 at 9:15 pm
Beautifully written. This is a side of myself I have denied for far too long. I feel like I too need to step out of the bohemian closet. I would love to learn to fully embrace my creative, free expressive side. Thank you for sharing yours. I wish you all the best on your journey.
June 4, 2016 at 8:26 pm
It’s time hairy women came out of the closet. It’s a problem that affects all women to a greater or lesser degree.
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